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91/365 - l.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.1. I think people have a hard time differentiating between whether I'm flirting, or just very nice. I just about hate everyone. I'm being nice, not flirtatious. 2. People don't realize how easily I am hurt. I put on a tough front and laugh things off, but what goes on inside my mind is a completely different story. If someone tells me I'm mean, whether they are joking or not, I will maul over the wrongs I have done for hours. If someone doesn't like my speaking habits - perhaps I am too vulgar, I pronounce something differently - I will practice saying it "their way" until I can get it right without thinking about it. My mom calls me stupid all the damn time. I'm going to get into Harvard and prove her wrong. 3. There's this tiny part of my brain that judges everyone based on every little thing they do. A lot of times - actually, I can't remember a time when my perception was wrong - I am right. No one escapes this judgement. However, I usually don't let my discoveries get in the way of my relationships with others. 4. I am extremely affectionate, both online and in real life. I crave attention and touch, and I'll sulk the entire day if I don't get it. This means that I also get jealous very easily. 5. I always expect the best of others. I usually don't get it. I should probably lower my standards. 6. I only have the emotional energy for two or three close friends, but I treat them like they are my world. In a sense, they are. 7. I question everything. What is the purpose of life? What is love, friendship? How does this work, why does it work that way and not in another way? Are you mocking me, or am I just reading too deeply into things? 8. I pick and choose my words very carefully. Everything I say has weight. My sentences have multiple meanings and I am able to twist truths and lies with so much ease that it unsettles me. I can take back my words easily because their meaning can be warped in many ways. I also hide my true feelings underneath my superfluous words, curious to see if anyone will think about me enough to decipher what I am really trying to say. They can't. 9. The reason why I don't like to talk about my problems is not because I am shy, it's because there just isn't anyone to talk to. Somehow, our conversation is always shifted to how much worse their life is. My problems don't matter to them. I end up comforting. I end up feeling like shit. There's no point in pouring my heart and soul into a person if they don't give a single fuck. Can't someone just listen for once? |